User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Sy vs Frank West. Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5
HALLOWEEN IS IN October 31 2016 00:00:00 UTC oh no. erb hype is super real. here's another erbohorror. fuck you. So many series came back yesterday it gave me new hope for this wiki's fanmade activity not being dead so please go read all of them, they're all really, really good. hello everyone and welcome to the penultimate of Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5. wow it's been a short five battles but i guess thats sorta what happens when you mass produce these things like paper. today's matchup features characters that are actually recognizable but probably more-so for your dad then you. and by that, i mean one hour photo is a great film with a quintessential performance by ol R. Williams (rip) and you should def look into it when you find the time. i dont have any blabbering to do to make this intro look longer so ill just jump right into it. thanks to Neo, formally known as Cave for writing as the Dead Rising rep, cavewoods monster finally came true. Also shout-out to Hawkeye, who was originally slated to play Neo's character. also shoutout to Trix who gave me info on Frank West and was back-up in case Neo had to drop out due to what was going on at the time In today's battle, the smart-talking, brave news-reporter from the Capcom series Dead Rising, Frank West, raps against the lonely, devious stalker from One Hour Photo, Seymour Parrish, better known as Sy, to see who's the better photographer; brutal hero vs pleasant villain. The finale will hopefully be out on halloween but it really all depends on how this week goes, there's still some work to be done for it. either way, hope you enjoy, thanks for reading as always. Prologue Beat: Introduction Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! VS! BEGIN! The Battle Frank West: Well, if it ain't another psychopath, acting all insane and shit I take pics of fake pricks who don't know how to spit sick And Chop workaholics till they Drop, get the picture? Eh, probably not Working in a discount Walmart for 11 years, your IQ obviously ain’t hot Chuck this fuck who’s Greene with envy, leave him Off the Record A walking punch-line, you’re a zombie, brainlessly working forever And to be Frank, your picture’s plot makes me Sy, just a lonely little guy Needs to Seymour people, but just looking at snapshots makes him cry Going into Overtime, you’re facing a modern Dawn of the Dead With eyes causing bloodshed, you must be literally fucked in the head So you can take your shitty pics and shove them up Uranus Zone Cause I know my way around a battle, I've covered wars, you know Sy: Are you a family man, Frank? Wouldn’t drive a kid to tears? No, you’d rather risk your life if it means Rising your Dead career All I do is take pictures. I’d rather be watching T.V. instead, But call me freaky in the head? Now you’ve got me seeing red! Check your timer for how long ‘till the big guns arrive: One Hour! Even your former design’s a better sight for sore eyes than Watch Tower! We’ve got one thing in common; Both cut with unnecessary copies to blame, But beyond being an empty Dempsey, you’re not even your company’s Resident zombie game! This is where your Fortune’s End! You’ll Parrish once I’m through this verse, Your bogus act is out of focus in every alternate universe! Match wits to Capcom’s last pick? There’s no denying Sy’s the wiser man I’m a rap Galactus you can’t scrap with, but you can’t even do whatever a spider can! Frank West: If that ain’t damned to see, thinkin you could stand to me Caught by Van Der Zee, evidences shows signs of insanity Clouded by vanity, victim of porn by your daddy, oh the humanity! And your chances of winning are about as real as your family! Sy: I haven’t fucked up in eleven years, and it’ll stay that way ‘till I retire, So come get the scoop on the truth; you’re a mass-produced fluke! You’re fired! The flaws in challenging the best are more stupidly numerous than your side-quests; Give the charts a check; In rap, P’Sy is always out-performing West. Frank West: I’m sick of your Drama, stick to robbin’ snapshots for your conspiracy wall Obsessin’ over customers was your fall, don’t appreciate pervs in my mall When it comes to crushing stumbling scum, it ain’t no secret I’m the best So remember the name of the champ who beat you, it’s Frank. Frank West Sy: Robbin’? That’s the main difference between you and me, son, One of us is played by a Williams, the other wants to be one! Tarnish my star pic’s with your smart lip? Stay the hell out of SavMarket! First rule of photography: Don’t hate the art, hate the artis- (Sy is cut off from his final line as a gunshot is heard. The old photographer falls to the ground, a huge bullet hole in his forehead. Frank West recoils in surprise, but is caught by an arm that wraps around his throat. A syringe is quickly inserted into the back of his neck, and he begins to fade out. In his final moments of consciousness, he gets a good look at his attacker.) (When he opens his eyes again, he is no longer in the Junkyard, but an underground barricade of sorts. Bright lights shine towards a subject strapped into a chair, a young girl. He still can't see very well, but the man he saw earlier notices that he is awake and comes nearer.) Mark Jefferson: Is there anyone here who knows their stuff? Seymour certainly hasn’t been studying; You never did pay attention in class. If you had, maybe you would’ve seen this coming So pop quiz, wise guy. What’s the definition of Chaos Theory? That’s a test you’ll ace once you wake in the Dark Room. Now the Price must be paid off severely I always take the shot. Too obvious? Let’s just get to the point, Thinking you’re on par with me makes two bums named Frank who need to lay off the joint But that’s a first world problem now, seeing as how your undoing is in the works, You’re worth less than dirt. If you got hurt, they wouldn’t even bother filing an Amber alert True beauty is unattainable without a beat. That’s why your portfolio's ugly. You should thank me for at least putting on music for your final moments. Kate wasn’t as lucky. The importance of your personal choice was an illusion; It always led to the same conclusive tie, I can see the headlines now; “ruthless Sy loses it and shoots guy in murder-suicide” This is what happens when you try to be an “Everyday Hero.” I am the consequence of your acts Every door and window closed. I’ll bury you in the junkyard, with the rest of the trash. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my session with Max, You WON'T get away with this… (Ahahaha…) Oh? I already have. Announcer: WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! Outro Who won? Frank West Sy Mark Jefferson How would you like to spend the rest of your life in my dark room? I love you, Mr. Jefferson Our Dark Room My selfies are shit Thanks for killing Chloe HINT TO THE FINALE: Category:Blog posts